Physical form of emotional turmoil.

everyones nightmare just became mine. Why? well I've havent had the perfect family and its was the normal thing to do now, but its emotional effect still takes its toll and a hard one. my mom just talked about it but   the tone of her voice told me more than what i really wanted to know. but that was over 5 months ago  or somewhere around there. And now just today the papers came and they seem to tell me that i was just another thing that was going to picked like the money, houses, and the furniture they were willing to battle out. my brother and i weren't piece of furniture for random people to select who was going with who. But those papers seem to tell i was just an object. Out of all the things that would happen to me i sure didn't think this was going to happen. But that they needed was a signature, my mothers signature. Suddenly my life was becoming from a girl who faced so much betrayal to have her whole life be a lie. I was living a Lie. Sometimes i ask my self why do we even bother to go to church its not going to make my life better any time soon. I mean it does for a while its like my safe haven but sooner or later you need to face reality, but for me i have faced it so many times i stopped counting. i am just a huge mess, a complete reck of human being, but life will get better, everyone and even myself keep on telling me. But when?